Insane
by AnnyaaaZ
Summary: My name is Bella Swan. I'm 18 and most people would say, that I'm insane. Why? Because, when I'm not high I see pictures, thoughts and fantasies of strangers. So your guess is right. I'm runaway drug addict.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

My name is Bella Swan. I'm 18 and most people would say, that I'm insane. Why? Because, when I'm not high I see pictures, thoughts and fantasies of strangers. So your guess is right. I'm runaway drug addict.

I woke up in a hospital gown "What the he…" There were footsteps near my door, so I pretended to be asleep.

"Is she awake?" asked rough voice.

"No, looks like heroin in her system is still working" said the voice that sounded like robot. "Though I think, she'll be awake soon enough."

"Is she safely tide to her bed?" asked the first one

What? I'm tide up? Shit, this isn't good, this isn't even regular hospital. Believe me. I know, because I've been in those so often, thanks to my clumsiness that I know, there's only one hospital, where they do things like that - psychiatric hospital.

"Yes." Answered the other man and they both left, locking the door behind them.

"Shit" I cursed again under my breath. This time they got me, but why? Did I overdose again? I can't remember anything. Ok, it's relevant right now. The most important thing is to get away from this place, before they can lock me up in some cell because of my mental instability.

So first things first. How can I get free of these things around my belly and legs? "Hah, it's my lucky day!" I guess these doctors are just young or plain stupid, if they left all the surgical instruments right next to my bed. On the other hand, it wouldn't be the first time they underestimated me. Sucks for them. After 5 minutes of nibbling around I was free. Oh, it feels so good.

Now I need to find my clothes. Usually they put them in some remote place on the other side of the building, but these doctors are just idiots. All of my clothing, which wasn't much, was laid on the back of the chair in the corner.

I started to change, when I heard approaching footsteps and same sickening voices of my doctors drawing nearer to my room. I needed to run and fast! Window! It sure is my lucky day and there even aren't any bars in front of it. After few seconds I realized, why. I was on the third floor.

"Damn!" Door started to open, so I jumped. OH, MY GOD! It took every part of my will power not to scream out loud from pain. Curses flowed under my breath, because after taking the first step I realized my ankle was sprained if not broken. Trough all my pain I ran. As fast as I could ignoring the pain and possibility of tripping over my feet.

**Yeah it's short, but it will get better, so please review and thanks for reading :)**

**p.s. I don't own Twilight or the characters. It's all S. Meyers. But, the plot is all mine. Enjoy :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Trough all my pain I ran. As fast as I could ignoring the pain and possibility of tripping over my feet._

After 2 minutes I heard sirens go wild in my "mental jail" and men shouting to each other about my disappearance. I started to run even faster, though my eyes were starting to fill with tiers from pain and I couldn't run further until my vision cleared. I was only few blocks ahead of them and I needed hiding place. I ran into one of those creepy apartments where only maniacs or drug addicts live.

Shouts from the guards were getting nearer, so ignoring the feeling of dread, I stepped inside the building. As I ran upstairs I heard them stop just in front of this building. Why, why me? But still - I ran, because I didn't care anymore. I needed rest and peace.

But then, I ran into something. At first I thought it was wall, because of the solidness and coldness of it. I was dead wrong, because in the next instant strong arms wrapped around me and for the first time in 5 years I really felt like home.

The only thing I could get out of my mouth was: "Please save me from them, please…"

I felt hot tears in my eyes and collapsed from all the physical and mental pain. In one swift movement I was in his arms, bridal style. In instant, I was is some flat that looked like penthouse and the most velvety voice in all the universe sad single word

"Stay!"

It didn't sound like command, but I obeyed. He ran outside in inhuman speed and locked the door behind himself. Although I didn't see his face I knew he was beautiful, because angels can't be ugly and such velvety voices belongs only to angels. I quickly hid myself and listened for the smallest noise outside.

There were several footsteps on the stairs which came to abrupt halt.

"Where is she?" asked one of the guards I guess.

"Who is she? I haven't seen a living soul since I came outside my flat. " said my angel. I guess there was something in his voice that I didn't catch, because the next words of the guard surprised me.

"Ehm… We, we, we are sorry, that we disturbed you, sir. " the same voice stuttered.

"Then I think, that you should leave, because knowing my neighbors, there is distinct possibility, that alive outside you won't get, if you make so much noise."

The men left, but I didn't relax until I was sure they were far from this block. As if my angle was thinking the same thing, he didn't return until they were far away. But when he stepped again in his flat, my head started to spin and my "insanity" raised its ugly head.

There were pictures of mental hospitals patients, when nurses and doctors torture them, after that I couldn't tell them apart anymore. Pictures became blurred and my mind was flooded with thoughts of doctors and patients.

"Make it stop, please! Kill me, I can't take it anymore!"

I screamed on top of my lungs. My angel gasped and I was in his arms in seconds, but when he took me into his arms he suddenly stiffened and became rigid. And then the pain began.

**5 years ago Phoenix**

"Mum, please no. Don't do this to me! It's nothing, just headache. I have migraine or something. I'm fine!" I lied. Of course everyone knew that I'm bad liar, but I hoped, that if I keep repeating it enough times it would sound true.

"No Bella. It's for your own good. And don't tell me it's nothing, because it's not normal for teenage girl to say that she sees men raping young girls or their relatives funeral, when they aren't even sick or old. My decision is made. You're going to hospital and right now! " Renee almost shouted.

"Mom, please. They will think that I'm insane. They'll put me in some sort of cage and will experiment with me. Please, I'm begging you, don't do this to me"

I started to weep, but knowing my mother, she will stick to her decision, even if it means that her own daughter would be locked up for years in psychiatric clinic. I knew she just wanted to get rid of me. I was not a love child. Yes, she informed my father, her boyfriend at the time, that they will have a daughter, but no matter how he begged her to let him raise me, she kept me and hated every breath I took. At least at summers I was with Charlie and from those times I have the best memories of my life.

Although I loved my dad, I knew that even he wouldn't be able to help me now, so I did, what was best for me at the time. I ran. Even though I was young, I constantly used pain medication, couse it helped me think and numbed all visions or whatever it is. For a while it worked, until I needed stronger drugs to keep me going. In a city like Phoenix it isn't hard to find drug dealers and because of my secret pocket money from dad I was able to numb myself until I overdosed.

Now that was bad. At first someone called 911, than there were doctors, who tried to cleanse my body from drugs, after that my insanity always came back and they had no choice, but to lock me up in "special institution" for mental freaks like me. But luckily, my lucky stars where always by my side and I got out pretty easily.

**Present, before Bella got caught**

As usual I was high. I could barely remember my name, but I didn't care about that. My mind was blank from every though and I was happy in those precious moments of freedom, but I knew. Soon he will be here and he'll want me to pay for this fix.

"Bella, Bella, my lovely Bella. Why do you do this to yourself?" Said James, locking his red eyes with mine.

I didn't answer not that he cared either. I knew what was coming, but I never really could prepare myself for it. His lips were tracing my jaw line. Bystander would think that he is kissing me, but I knew better. I was right, because in that same instant he bite me and I blacked out from the burning fire.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_I was right, because in that same instant he bite me and I blacked out from the burning fire._

I woke up in a few hours or at least it seemed like it. Gr… Yup… I'm still human. Why does he keep doing it? But I guess I know the answer to this question. My blood is too appealing or something like that. As always there is machine next to me, that is pumping new blood in me. Ha, he doesn't want me to die, but as usual I don't care. I sat up and pulled the needles out of my arm. So, where did he left my next fix? Oh, it's a stupid question, there it is, prepared already – the same as ever. I inhaled it all in one go. Oh… Much Better… Hmm, there's something different.

Then I heard a knock on the door and ran to answer it.

"Hey Jake! What's up?"

"Bells, why do you keep hurting yourself? Charlie is so worried. He keeps searching for you and doesn't believe that you are in some psychiatric clinic in Florida. Bells, please, you have to…"

Jacob was starting to spin and may head felt, like it weighed a planet. Fuck!

**EPOV**

It's been almost 80 years since I last saw Carlisle, but I can't go back. He would be so disappointed in me, that I gave in to the monster inside me.

I need to hunt. I was heading out, locking the door. Basically I didn't care about those things Alice had put in here, but I know, if something would go missing from here she would rip my head off. She knows I could live even in cardboard box if I wanted, but she wouldn't even hear about that. So here I am. Living in the most awful district of the Phoenix, where most of the buildings are so run down, that it's dangerous to step inside them, but I have a penthouse in hear.

I was so lost in thought, that I didn't notice her, until she slammed in me with her whole body. I instinctively wrapped my hands around her. She lifted her gaze and I saw chocolate brown eyes of a goddess.

"Please save me from them, please…"

Only then I heard men voices shouting and seeking someone. It sounded like they were heading up here. The goddess in my arms started to cry and collapsed in my arms. I quickly picked her up bridal style and took her to my apartment.

She looked so lost and frightened. I needed to calm her down, but first there was the issue of those men.

"Stay!" I said in a most soothing voice I could manage and ran outside in vampire speed. As I locked the door, again, the men I heard before appeared. They stepped in front of me and said:

"Where is she?" asked the first one.

"Who is she? I haven't seen a living soul since I came outside." I answered in tone full of menace.

"Ehm… We, we, we are sorry, that we disturbed you, sir. " You better be or I'll rip your head off.

"Then I think, that you should leave, because knowing my neighbors, there is distinct possibility, that alive outside you won't get, if you make so much noise."

They quickly departed, but I didn't make a move until I heard, that they had left the building. I stood there for a few seconds more, preparing myself for those brown eyes. They are so beautiful, they reminded me of her… No, I won't let myself to think about her. It's been 80 years, but every time I remember her it's like my wounds have been ripped open again.

As I stepped inside I heard her murmuring something. I came closer.

"Make it stop, please! Kill me, I can't take it anymore!" she screamed. I gasped and cradled her in my arms. As soon as I did that, the sweetest scent overwhelmed me and I fought for control. My thoughts centered only on her, everything else disappeared. She screamed on more time. That brought me back to reality and I noticed that she had blacked out.

I gently lifted her small frame and took her to my bed. Even here Alice had gone overboard, because it was huge. As if I ever slept, but now I was thankful to her. Maybe she had predicted that someday I would need it? When she was in bed I noticed bite marks on her, but not from some animal. They were vampire bite marks and were all over my angels body: her neck, wrists, tights and breasts. How was she still human? I was 100% sure that she still was, because I could smell her delicious blood. Wait a minute. There was something I hadn't noticed before. Was may angle, my brown eyed angel a junkie?

**JPOV**

"Yes Charlie. Renee said she's in some hospital in Florida. "

"No Charlie. She won't tell me either were exactly it is. You know that I care for her and would do anything to find her too."

"Ok, take care. I promise, I will fix this somehow! Bye"

God, I hate lying to Charlie. If he found out this somehow, he would never forgive me, but I promised to Bella.

**R & R please ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_God, I hate lying to Charlie. If he found out this somehow, he would never forgive me, but I promised to Bella._

**BPOV**

I woke up in the softest and the biggest bad I've ever seen. Where the hell am I?! As per usual I couldn't remember anything.

"Are you really awake now?" said a soft velvety voice.

And with that, all the memories, from waking up in the hospital rushed back to me. The escape and the angel.

I looked up and saw the most beautiful creature on the face of earth. As I looked closer I saw red eyes. No, no, no, no! This couldn't be happening. No, I don't want to believe this! My angel, my savior is vampire! Will he kill me now? Am I already dead? No, I don't feel any different, so I guess he wants to play with his food. Why this shit always happens to me?! First James, now… Hmm, I don't even know his name. I guess it doesn't matter, because I will be dead soon. Maybe it's a good thing. No more suffering for Jacob and Charlie.

"Can you hear me?" he asked.

"Yes, I can. And yes, I'm awake" I replied.

There was a strange ache in my body, like a pull towards him, but I soon forgot about that, because suddenly the visions and the voices came back with a force. I doubled over from the pain and the intensity. I've never felt it so strongly, it was as if someone was broadcasting them with all the force they could.

As I was starting to succumb to unconsciousness, might I add, again, I felt strong arms wrap around me. I inhaled his intoxicating scent and relaxed against his cold skin. If there was one thing better, than drugs, to releas me from my nighmarish „gift", than it was closness to vampire. But even that, never really took it all away, not like now, not like with... Hell, I don't even know his name!

„Umm, thanks, for that." I said, as I relaxed even more, „so, can I know your name at least, before I become your next meal? I know, it doesn't matter in the long run, but still..."

He looked at me as if I was crazy. Oh, I guess I was...

**EPOV**

She wants to know my name. Yes, humans needs that, to feel comfortable around anothers. Whait, what does she means by next meal?! Does she knows I'm a vampire? But that is impossible, Volturi would've deald with her a long time ago, if she knew our secret. But on the other hand, she has vampire bite marks and she still is a human.

„Edward, my name is Edward. And yours?"

„Bella, or a least, that is how everybody calls me. My name is Isabella, but I depise that name."

Hmm, interesting. It's unussual, that somebody would despise their name. But I like it, it suits her. I could safely admit, that she is rather beautiful, or could be, if she didn't use drugs. She could be even more beautiful than... No, I can't go there.

It's strange, how one frail human, could make me remember... Her... I've buried thos thoughts long time ago. Because of... Her... I am like this now. She... did this to me.

„Do you remember what happend yesterday?"

„Umm, yes. But I don't want to talk about that. So, how much time do I have left? I can see that you haven't resently fed, your eyes are black."

Again she's talking about her death, like it's a walk in the park. Just like She did. I couldn't admit, even to myself, that her scent wath mouthwatering. It would be so easy, but the drugs kept repelling me. She isn't the first junky I've ever met, but it seams, that the drugs she uses are not the same a all the others. They are even compelling to me, but at the same time, they repulse me. Just like... No... That could explain the bite marks.

I only heard about this once, in passing, but there was a vampire, that used his own blood, to make a new drug, that even vampires could get high, if they got over the revolsion of the venom. But it is suposed to be deadly to humans.

Maybe she isn't entarily human after all. Calisle mentioned, that there are some type of half breeds, not human, but not truly vampire. More like schamans, with some interesting abilities, from vampires and other „creatures of the night". Maybe that's how she knows about us.

„Isabella," she grimased, „Bella, I'm not after your blood. You can relax. I'm not sure that I would be even able to, if I wanted."

„You would, because he could do that. It's miracle, that I'm still alive!"

„I can see that."

**JPOV**

No, no, no, no, no! How could I do this to her. It's all my fault. They wouldn't have taken her, if I was a tad bit smarter, but no, of cours I had to act before I thought. Charlie will kill me. I'm allmost shure, that he knows that I was lying all the time. I'm not the only one with the secret.

I've allways known, the the Swan family was diffirent, but I never was able to put my finger on how diffirent. Was it something in their character, or was there something more. I think, Renee, knew and that's why she didn't allow Charlie, to help raise Bella, maybe that was the reason, why she put her in that hospital.

Before I could answer any of these questions, there was knock on my door. I sight, becouse I had a pretty good guess who it was.

**I'm sure you're guess is wrong, but you can still try :D**

**R&R ;)**


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